GOD to me is the ‘person’ I felt rather than saw sitting next to me when I stole my mother’s car at 16 and ran away. In those 36 hours of driving, I was never alone. I don’t know how, but that invisible energy, that I took even back then to be the essence of our Creator, saved my life on more than one occasion on that trip

GOD to me is that part of me that talks me out of some of my darkest days

GOD to me is everything that is us and that surrounds us. If you have ever read “Conversations With God”, perhaps you’ll understand why I find it comforting to believe that we, as a whole, make up GODs body and we are his/her way exploring life itself… feeling every emotion and being the duality of what we all are… male/female … good/evil.

GOD to me is you and me and everything we see and the flow of energy that binds us all together. That same flow of energy that tells you someone has entered a room even though your back is turned. The same flow of energy that gently clues you into who might be calling you even as the phone is still ringing. The same flow of energy that allows us to connect to each other.

To me hell is not a place you go to when you die. There is no devil. Hell is when you have lost that feeling of connection to everything going on around you. When you cannot find the empathy to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, that is when you find yourself in something akin to the myth of hell.

GOD to me is the lifeforce that creates everything — seen and unseen. GOD is perfect in all that GOD creates. Nothing is not what is meant to be… no one is born not being exactly what GOD needs for them to be. We all are born with the love that GOD has for himself/herself. For some reason, there are some people who forget that. They no longer remember the knowledge that if they are here, they are here by GOD’s will and therefore GOD’s love and as part of GOD they are always worthy of that love and are never alone.

Lots of blessings!

Okay, so I wasn’t attending church very often any longer. I had become one of those holiday parishioners. I married my first husband (very short lived marriage) and my second husband (current and forever love) at that same church.

I also had my first child baptized there. But all this time, I was becoming more and more disillusioned with it all. I hated praying to GOD through someone else’s name (Jesus). It was wrong to me to put someone else before GOD. Now, I’ve had many Christians explain to me their belief that Jesus was not only GOD’s son as man, but also GOD himself. No offense, but that doesn’t cut it for me. Jesus was Jesus and GOD is GOD. I am as much a part of GOD as anyone else, including Jesus.

This was weighing on me more and more. One day, I went into a closet we had where we stored not only items I was selling on eBay, but also my pile of “Books To Be Read”. Now, just to be honest, when it comes to the majority of things in my life… my memory is awful. Both long and short are fragile at best. When it comes to books, though. I remember them. I know their covers (I hate re-issues) and I know the story lines that I read. So when I dug out a book entitled “Book of Shadows” from that file, I found it really strange that I didn’t remember purchasing it from anywhere or anyone.

Now, you know and I know, that I must have picked it up at some garage sale or in a book box lot at the local auction and just didn’t notice, but I’d almost swear it appeared by magic. At least, I like to think it did, because it not only changed my outlook on the church and religion, but my entire life too. I’ll also have you know that when I was done with it (read twice in a row), I put in on my living room bookshelf and then never saw it again. Maybe I lent it to someone and didn’t remember? I don’t know. I like to think that it served its purpose and went on to teach the next woman about the lies that we’ve been fed as females.

I miss that book and keep hoping that I’ll come across another copy. Although, I wound up not staying on that author’s same path, it is a sacred tome to me. Make sure to pick up your own copy and then share with me your thoughts on it.

It was then that I started to explore the old religions where females where part of the highest deities. Today, that information comes under the headings of Paganism, Wicca and Witchcraft. While Hollywood has enjoyed making these religious beliefs out to be evil, I was glad to find out how highly regarded women have been in history. I learned that these paths had nothing at all to do with the Devil as he is a Christian entity and therefore not even believed to exist in other faiths. Wicca is now a recognized religion in the U.S. Military.

Through my research, I finally let go of the belief that there was some old man in the stars watching my every move and judging me to be unworthy. Though I have called myself both a Pagan and a Witch at times in my life and have done so with pride, I have never cast a spell. It reminded me too much of Christian prayer work… that you had to speak to the Universe in a certain way or it wouldn’t be “right” … it wouldn’t work.

I also never baptized the twins. My GOD is perfection and therefore would never create anyone less that He/She intended that living being to be. Which means for me that NO ONE is born a sinner.

Up to a month ago, I kept my broomstick and home altar ready for when I thought the time was right to become a practicing witch. Now I know that it will never happen.

That leaves me lost. I was Christian and then Pagan and now Nothing. Who am I spirituality without a label? When someone asks me what religion I am or my children, what should my answer be?

To be continued…

Many Blessings!

It’s nice to meet you…

I’d like share where I came from spiritually.

I was born into the Lutheran religion. I was baptized and attended Sunday School until I was 7 or 8 years old. When we moved out of state, my parents sort of let things go religiously. Neither GOD nor Jesus was spoken of in any real context that I recall. The only story that stayed in my mind was that my father had been a Catholic until he married my mother. The Catholic Church excommunicated him for marrying outside his religion. As a child (admittedly also as an adult), this truly pissed me off. It felt truly illogical that GOD would deny a love like my parents enjoy. Was this church trying to say that my mother wasn’t good enough? Who did they think they were?

Anyway, as a teenager, sometimes I’d have to go to church with a friend due to a Saturday night sleepover. None were captivating to a mind that always wished to be elsewhere. In fact, certain sermons were outright cruel and punishing. I remember agreeing to go to a Catholic church to keep a friend company (a boy I liked) and I came out feeling abused. The congregation was lectured on how we were all sinners and on our way to hell, especially anyone who had had an abortion. I thought it was horrible and couldn’t understand why people would go to a place that made them feel badly about themselves. As a teenager, I had enough self-loathing to begin with and didn’t need some strange man to make things worse.

I think I was 16, when I had to deal with several horrible situations. Date rape, boyfriend physically beating me … at one point almost killing me. Because of other complicated issues as a young girl, I didn’t trust my wonderful parents with this information and instead, I ran away. I drove for almost 36 hours and I’ll swear on everything that is precious to me that GOD was in the passenger seat the whole way with me. Not Jesus, not some saint I’ve never heard of or even a guardian angel. It was GOD. Perhaps I’ll share a story or two later on why I believe this with all my heart.

In my late teens, I had a co-worker in his late twenties. There was an instant connection not only as friends, but also a physical attraction. Other than the age difference of almost a decade, an additional problem was that he was married. So, he decided to re-introduce me to the GOD and Jesus that he knew instead of acting on anything. He bought me a bible that was written in modern language… was it called the “Good News Bible”, maybe? Since I wanted to make him happy, I read it. I started listening to Amy Grant. And one night, alone in my bedroom in my parents’ home, I asked Jesus to come into my heart.

My new-found interest pulled to my mother and she found us a new Lutheran church. We went to classes and became formal members. I wasn’t comfortable in the church though. Praying in Jesus name never made sense to me. I had always dialed direct to GOD himself. All the ritual and pageantry seemed a bit too much, like everyone was trying too hard for GOD to truly love them.

Eventually, my co-worker gave into the temptation that was me. I attended church less and less. And though I still called myself a Christian at that point, I went back to having my own private conversations with GOD.

Now, all of that has changed. I no longer call myself a Christian or even anything at all. I’ve read so much over the years, it is no longer possible to me that Jesus was anything other than a very gifted man and an amazing teacher. There have been quite a few amazing people who live a very wise, spiritually connected life and generously shared their knowledge: Gandhi, Rev. Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa… just to name a few. I’ve flirted with Spiritualism, New Age Spirituality, Paganism and Witchcraft. None of those faiths are mine either though. More about that later though.

This is enough to get us started.

Wishing you many blessings!

I originally had my spirituality blog attached to my graphics site’s name. I didn’t think that was a very good fit, though. This site was one that I hadn’t been using and finally the light bulb went off and now I’m moving it here. If you ever visited: http://daydream-lane.blogspot.com/, then you might see that I will be adding  the original posts here.

I would love to make this a safe place to discuss having a relationship with GOD - our creator - the universe and how to do so without throwing religion into the mix. So please feel free to comment at length. I will response and welcome courteous debate.

Hugs,

Dreamer